WWJD By Dr. Richard Youngblood
Question: A quote from a popular movie from the 1960’s
says, “Love means never having to say ‘I’m sorry.’” Would Jesus agree with this statement?
I enjoyed the movie “Love Story,” but I can’t
appreciate the quote “Love is never having to say I’m sorry” which has remained
its identifying mark. Jesus teaches us
that genuine love will do whatever is necessary to undo any pain or heartache we
have caused, even if one must say, “I’m sorry.”
In the Sermon on the Mount, he taught his followers that we must go and
be reconciled with any brother in faith who may have something against us
before the Heavenly Father will accept our gifts and worship (Matthew
5:23-24). Love means accepting full
responsibility for our failures and/or weaknesses, honestly confessing our sin
and seeking the forgiveness of God and anyone who has been harmed by our
actions.
Finding the humility to confess our sins to one another (James 5:16) is hard to do, especially to someone we have personally offended. Confessing a sin is a way of saying, “I’m sorry,” “I messed up,” “I apologize,” “I hurt you,” “Please forgive me.” Some individuals feel such honest confession is groveling and that this is beneath their dignity. Unfortunately, many of these same individuals expect anyone who has wronged them to grovel before being forgiven. Others are willing to apologize, but their words are often defensive and accompanied with attempts to justify what was done or to blame others. They may even make accusations against the one from whom they ask forgiveness. No doubt, the offended person has his/her own sins; but the time for saying “I’m sorry for what I did to you,” is not the time for casting stones at the offended person. This is not what love does (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).
Finally, saying
“I’m sorry” is the loving thing to do not only for the one offended, but also
for ourselves. The
psalmist said: “Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose
sins are covered. . . When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my
groaning all day long” (Psalm
32:1-3). Unless he is without
conscience, an offender will bear a burden of guilt that will rob him of joy
and inner peace until he finds forgiveness and reconciliation. On the other hand, an offended friend who has
no opportunity to say, “You’re forgiven,” may live with a festering resentment
and bitterness in his soul. A truly
loving person will not want to do these things to herself or another person.
“Love means never having to say you’re sorry” may make
good fiction for movies and books; but in real life, love means acknowledging
our sins and seeking forgiveness and reconciliation with God and with one
another. If you know you have offended
someone, why not demonstrate genuine love by going to them in humility now seeking
forgiveness and a renewed relationship.
We need one another too much to allow problems to remain unresolved for long. Real love means saying without any
reservations, “I’m sorry. Please forgive
me.”
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