WWJD By Dr. Richard Youngblood
Question: Why do people get upset when I tell them what
I think? If they didn’t want me to speak
truthfully, why ask me?
I hope you will not get upset if I tell you that
those people will probably not ask for your opinion again. Some people are too sensitive and too easily
offended, but others of us can be too insensitive and too quick to speak our
minds. Often the problem is not “what”
we say but “how” we say it. Jesus would
encourage us to reflect not only on what the Bible says about speaking
truthfully, but also about the manner in which we address one another.
Speaking truthfully is important. “An honest answer is like a kiss on the
lips,” said the wise man (Proverbs
24:26). In a prayer of repentance for
sin, King David said, “Surely you desire truth in the inner parts” (Psalm 51:6). Although hearing honest words can be painful
(Job 6:24); we should prefer honest, life-giving words of truth over flattery
or deceitful, lying words. Because truth
brings life and dishonesty brings death, the wise man explained,
“The tongue has the power of life and death” (Proverbs 18:21). But we do have every right to ask, “Have I now become
your enemy by telling you the truth?” (Galatians 4:16).
At the same time, we need to understand that there
is a difference between essential truth that brings life and our own truthful
opinions. “When
words are many, sin is not absent,” the Proverbs tell us, “but he who holds his
tongue is wise. . . The lips of the righteous nourish many, but fools die for
lack of judgment” (Proverbs 10:19,
21). Thus, being truthful does not mean
we must always say everything we think.
To do so probably means that we care more about our own opinions than
about being helpful to others. A wise and knowledgeable
person “uses words with restraint,” because “even a fool is thought wise if he
keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue” (Proverbs 17:27-28).
Above all, we must learn the importance of “speaking
the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15).
Christians have been admonished to “Let your conversation be always full
of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone”
(Colossians 4:6). Foods that are properly
seasoned taste better and are easier to swallow. Our friends will usually not get upset at
words seasoned with grace even if they do not like them. However, words seasoned with loud, harsh,
sarcastic and judgmental tones often prevent the intended truth from being
heard. Even friends are more likely to
leave offended and never return.
According to the Proverbs, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a
harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs
15:1).
Finally, even gracious and thoughtful words spoken
with kindness are not always received well.
The people of Nazareth “spoke well” of Jesus and “were amazed at
the gracious words that came from his lips” (Luke 4:22). But a few verses later
we are told that they were furious at what he said and attempted to kill him
(Luke 4:28-29). However, before we rush
to blame others for being offended by what we say, we need to check our own way
of expressing ourselves. I may not be
able to change the other person, but I can change my own manner of speaking.
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